As an early birthday gift, my friend Lola gave me two shirts that say, “I <3 My Two A Days”. She said it reminded her of me since I say that so often. Yes, there are days when I actually do my two-a-days but that’s not the point of this post. The point is why is it that we don’t treat ourselves as well as we treat our friends and family? I know, I tell you the point without your having to dig for it. I thought of this idea today when a friend brought it up since I told him how much self-loathing I engage in when I miss a workout. The problem with today is that I am sick.
Here’s the background, every morning between the wee hours of 6-7 AM, my Lola sends me a text message with her workout plan. Sometimes, she’s already gone for a 6 mile run and on other days, she’s already done her boot-camp training. I then update her with my plans for the morning with the potential plan of an after work workout. She then tells me whether she’s in or out. “Are you in or are you out?” I think that line comes from Bruno. We share different workout ideas, new foods to include in our diets, and support each other to overcome our mid-afternoon sweet cravings.
So it was of no surprise that even though I felt like crap yesterday, I agreed to head to yoga after work. I was told that I looked pale and green after my workout. Yeah, no bueno. Today, I feel even worse and was put on antibiotics but somehow, I managed to squeeze in a workout. Again, no bueno. I think there’s an addiction to breaking a sweat and panting heavily after an amazing workout. Maybe? No?
I guess the real question is why can’t I treat myself better. I’ve often complained on this blog that I find it so hard to cook for one and easier to cook for two. I guess that is because I find it easier to take care of another person than it is to take care of myself. Missing a workout is not going to hurt me in any way – it’s not like if I were to miss a day of strength training that I will lose everything I’ve gained. Or is it because of the extrinsic value we learned as children that the harder we work the more we gain – such as money for every “A” received, prizes for every book read, etc. I think the new-age parenting focuses more on the intrinsic value, which fosters drive and motivation within the child. In other words, the child somehow decides that activity is what he or she wants to do regardless of what he or she might gain in monetary prizes, however, if any is gained then it is just a bonus but it doesn’t take away or give more to the pleasure of the act. Was that too complicated?
I think one of my goals this year is to practice self-compassion. As my birthday is slowly approaching, I’d like to learn how to truly take care of myself, be nicer to me, and allow myself to enjoy activities without thinking of it as loss and gains but more as pleasures in life that create growth and drive.
